Tied down.

I feel so tied down. 

So constricted. 

So limited. 

 

Everything I do, my actions, affects people around me, pulls them down. 

I've tried very hard. Very hard, to please everyone around me.

To try and make everyone else happy. 

To try to be there for everyone. 

To care for them whenever they need it. 

I've been trying to be gentle, to be subtle  in everything I do, just so I don't hurt the people around me.

But regardless of what I do, I just can't make everyone happy, someone is always dissatisfied. 

I'm sorry. 

I've told myself countless of times to just care for myself, be selfish. 

But I just can't. 

I care about these people too much to push them aside. 

Constantly reminding myself that I'm only human. There's no need to feel guilty. 

Growing up, people come and go. Friends come and go. 

I'm afraid. 

Afraid to be alone. 

Afraid to be left behind again. 

Afraid to have to start over again. 

I've open up time and time again, and always end up hurting. 

People just don't realize how much they affect me, how they make me feel, how they make me mentally tired, thinking and thinking, always reaching a dead end. 

Sometimes I question, is it just me? 

Regardless of how much I want to believe its true, sometimes, the only person I can trust is myself. 

I'm stronger than I know. 

I should really give myself some credit for being able to go through so much. 

Fake a smile till I make it. 

Just something from the mind, and heart. 

No modifications, just very raw feelings. 

Sue me for trying to be happy. 

Rant. Don't ask.